There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
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when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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