I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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