i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We have started to decorate penises.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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