i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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