There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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