im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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