I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize