i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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