I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize