I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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