No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize