it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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