Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
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four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
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Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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