So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize