The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize