Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize