After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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