I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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