Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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