Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i think my cat just said my name.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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