Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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