The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize