Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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