Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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