Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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