I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
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Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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