I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
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When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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