I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
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Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
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I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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