screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize