sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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