Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize