How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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