He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
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All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
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Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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