This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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