i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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