I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
My pussy is not your playground.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize