who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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