Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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