He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize