So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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