Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize