My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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