i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize