I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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