she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
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I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
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you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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