Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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