I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize