If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
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Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
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There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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