whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize