I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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